simpson weneh
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Jan. 18th, 2009


How sad, I have caught up to the present day on Dooce.com. I have been reading the last 5 years of her posts during nighttime feedings. It is like reaching the end of a book (a book with a dramatic cliffhanger because she's pregnant again). A good book that made you laugh and cry. More laughs than tears, to be sure. Now I have to be checking for new entries instead of being able to hit the "next" button. :(

I also think I'm gonna go "Friends Only" from now on. So, those real-life friends I have that don't have an LJ acct should make one, and then they can friend me and still read along.

My favorite jeans


I am excited to say that I am currently shoe-horned into my favorite pre-pregnancy jeans.

... I don't think I'd go out in public with them painted on like this, but at least I can get them onto my thighs and even zip them now. No way I could've done that a few weeks ago.

If I stop baking brownies, I might even be able to wear these all the time soon.


Today is my 6 week postpartum check up with my OB, Dr P. It is a strange feeling: that this is the final appointment from this pregnancy. Like this chapter of my life, co-starring Dr P, is ending. I need to remember to get a referral to a counselor, because I'm just not right in the head right now. I feel like I can't talk or relate to anyone.

Margot has had terrible gas the past few days. She has been unconsolable from the pain. You should hear her cries. It is so obvious that she's in pain, and that is sooo hard to hear when you can't do anything more for it than you've already done. Last night, I even had to get Jon up to give me a break (which I avoid doing on a work-night). Eventually Margot will fart and then pass out because she's so tired from crying.

Like right now she is sleeping. I took a shower for the first time in like 3 days.

Aside from the gas, Margot has been great. We took her to a photography opening Friday night to much success. Jon wore her in our Snugli while I wrangled the diaper bag. Margot wore her new monkey shoes and we got lots of compliments on them. The gallery was PACKED. Afterwards, we walked to dinner at The Delmar, where we had to lay her on the bench in the booth since we didn't have anywhere else to put her, lol. We won't be able to do that for much longer since she'll be rolling around soon.

Well, I should go put on some pants that fit me better. I'm probably cutting off circulation to my legs.

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Jan. 11th, 2009


Book Autopsies. <-- very cool art. Check it out.

Jan. 10th, 2009


From dooce.com, on her daughter:
She rolled over, hugged it, and then looked back at both of us and said, "You guys are my friends."

You think you're going to be prepared for the sheer incredibleness of such a moment, but it's like, someone keeps setting off pipe bombs on your front porch and throwing rocks through your windows, and then one day out of nowhere they show up and mow your lawn. And you're suddenly glad you didn't shoot them last week.


That totally sums up parenthood, from what I have experienced so far. If Margot didn't give me smiles once and awhile, it would not be worth it. But those smiles, you would endure a lot to earn one.

Dec. 26th, 2008


Tomorrow I am off to Tennessee for my side of the family's Christmas. I'm going to be there a whole week, and it is an interesting challenge to pack for myself and Margot. Have to remember to pack diapers, wipes, powder, bottles, the pump, formula, burp clothes, bibs, outfits for baby, baby socks, onesies... plus extras since diapers occasionally leak. Need to pack my Boppy pillow, the bouncer, the sleep positioner (even tho I suspect I may resort to co-sleeping since it will be just me and the baby for a few days), her saline nose-spray, the nose sucker-upper thingy, nail clippers, hair brush/comb... argh, there is so much! Plus, it is hard for me to pick out 8 days worth of clothes for myself-- half the time I just wear PJs all day!

Anyways, Margot is getting much more aware. She actually has some periods of time where she is alert but not hungry. Not quite to the "playing" point yet, though. She does seem to be figuring out how to get her hand into her mouth, and that's cool. I am looking forward to the "self-soothing" landmark. She seems to have gained a pound overnight, as well. I swear, she is bigger today.

Gave Jon a new laptop bag for Christmas today. I hope he likes it. He gave me a book holder so that I can read and nurse at the same time, plus a graphic novel that I've been wanting to read.

OK, I'd best get back to packing. Bye!

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owww


Oh my, the back pain. I keep getting this ball of tension on the right side of my back that nothing will help. Jon tried rubbing it out earlier. I suspect I may require a chiro adjustment. Or a professional massage.

Typing 1 handed is hard.

Margot is all congested. Tomorrow I will be going to Sears to get a good humidifier since the little one I have hasn't made any change in the humidity level of this room after running all night. I went and sat in the bathroom with her while the shower was running and that seemed to help. Poor little miss! She was snorting and snoring.

After her Dr appt tuesday, we learned she is still underweight. Back to supplementing some formula until she's gaining properly. It's really frustrating since I'm pumping after each feeding and giving her what little extra I can get out.

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Dec. 10th, 2008


Well, Margot got to get off the glowing blanket yesterday. Her levels were low enough that they should continue to drop on their own. I'm glad we don't have to keep going to the lab at the hospital and then to the pediatrician every day anymore. Seemed like it was a little unneccessary to go every day. Can't wait to see the bill for the labwork and renting the glowing blanket.

Now we need to fatten her up. Since she had been feeding so poorly due to the jaundice, she is now in the 10th percentile in weight. She is almost a full pound lighter than she was when she was born still. I've started pumping breastmilk when she doesn't "finish up" the way she should. There isn't much there, but we need her to drink every drop. We want to avoid giving her formula if we can help it since that would doubtlessly lead us down the slippery slope to just feeding formula all the time. And my mom just bought us a $150 breast pump that I really don't want to go to waste.

As for me, I've been kinda upset. Baby blues, I guess. I can cry at the drop of a hat. Being a mom is scary stuff. Too much to think about.

Dec. 5th, 2008


OK, birth story. It's 6am and I've only had a few hours of sleep tonight, so forgive me if anything is confusing.

11/30/08-
Sunday morning, Jon and I woke up at 6:30am. We had to call the hospital to make sure they weren't full of naturally laboring moms. They had room for us, so our 7:30am appointment was on. I had gotten a touch of instestinal distress from dinner the night before and had only slept a few hours, so I was a zombie (much like I am right now!). I choked down some toast. When we stepped outside to go, we got to admire the beautiful little snow that had fallen the night before- it was so pretty!

At the hospital, we put in a room where the vertical blinds were broken and wouldn't close. I was like, "uh-uh, that isn't going to fly" because I knew we'd want some privacy and some darkness during the day. Our 1st fabulous nurse, Trish, moved us into the room next door, which was much nicer (a corner room).

So, Trish examines me and because my cervix had dilated to 1 cm, we got to skip the 12hr cervical treatment and get started on the Pitocin right away. After drawing 5 vials of blood and installing my IV, we got to start our exciting day of watching the IV drip. It was probably 9:30 or 10 by then.

At some point they decided that they'd break my water. When the house doc arrived to do it, I had just gotten back into bed from peeing and lo and behold, my waters broke on their own! That was very cool. A lot of women have to have the doc break the water. The doc was being handed the hook they use to do the procedure and she was like, "hey wait a minute."

Pitocin levels are gradually increased so that they only have to use as much as you need to start contractions. Normally, the mother has started contracting by the time the level reaches 10. I didn't start until 20. It was around 7:30pm then, I think. My mom had been there a few hours by then. We went ahead and asked her to leave so we'd have some privacy to do various pain-relief techniques.

I tried sitting on the birthing ball but it was annoying me. I only lasted for about an hour of real contractions when I was asking Jon if it was too soon to ask for the epidural. (1 min long and 2 minutes apart = only 1 min between each = ouch! Pitocin makes even early contractions faster and harder.) I was only 2 cm dilated so it would have been too early had my labor been natural. As it was, since I was on the Pitocin, sure, bring on the epidural!

Getting the epidural put in was the most painful thing. They ask you to sit on the edge of the bed and curl your back over as much as possible. When you are super pregnant, there isn't much room for curling over! It took the anestheseologist a few tries to get inbetween my verterae in the right spot. Once it was all installed and pumping drugs, it was only a few more minutes of contractions (that I could feel, that is!).

The epidural was AMAZING. I couldn't feel any contractions. My legs were tingly but moveable still. I promptly passed out from exhaustion. On an epidural they need to rotate the side that you are sleeping on every half hour because the drug actually moves around your body by gravity. If they left you on one side, you'd start feeling pain on the side that is "up". The nurse did a great job of keeping me rotated.

After a few hours, apparently Margot's heartbeat slowed a touch, so I was put on oxygen to keep the baby well. That is really common on the epidural, so I wasn't freaked out (thank you, childbirth class!). I just went back to bed, lol.

12/1/08-
Early Monday morning, I'd noticed a change: when a contraction came, I could feel what felt like the baby's head pressing down. Yup, once they checked, turned out I was fully dilated. It was time to wake up and push!

I swear, I only pushed for less than 10 contractions total. It was awesome. I couldn't feel any pain, but I could feel that pressure. Jon and the nurse held my legs up while we pushed for 3 counts of 10 each contraction. I was a great pusher, apparently. So good that I had to stop pushing because Dr Philpott (my OB) hadn't gotten there yet (he lives about 10 minutes away, I guess). They had me stop right before the push that would send the baby's head out. I got to see what it looked like in a mirror, and that was awesome.

So, Dr P arrives and I push once and Margot's head came out. They suctioned her all out and I got to hear her squeek for the first time. Another push and she was out! Jon agreed to cut her umbilical cord. Dr P collected the cord blood for donation to Cardinal Glennon's cord blood bank like I'd requested. Margot got all cleaned up by the nurses. Placenta came right out the next contraction (no pushing required).

I was dealing with uncontrollable shivers at this point (they'd started towards the end of labor and got worse after the birth). If you look at the pictures of us after the birth, I am positively green colored! My blood pressure was really low so I was told to lay back down all the way so I wouldn't faint. The nurse had to hold Margot up to me to breastfeed her since I was too faint and you have to get them started early before they fall asleep.

All in all, it was the best labor! I told Dr P that I could have a baby every day, lol.

She is waking up right now so I need to feed her. I will continue the story later!

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Yes, it is 3 am


Morning folks! Yes, I am up in the middle of the night with a fussy baby. Margot is gassy = crying all night.

Other than that, she is perfect n beautiful. see jon's lj for pics for now. (laminator_x)

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